Dear Kraut Midget

There’s no question too big or small for Fritz Neitzsche!

Satire by Daryl Haney

by D.R. Haney

There’s no question too big or small for Fritz

Dear Kraut Midget:

I realize you’ve been dead for about a hundred years
now and you were insane for at least twenty years
before that (was that syphillis or what?) but I’m
wondering exactly what you meant with all that
‘superman’ stuff.  I mean did they have comic books
back when you were my age?  (I’m thirty-five
chronologically but thirteen emotionally.)  What did
superman like back then?  Was he crazy, too?  Can
you get me a copy of the Superman Number One at a
discount?  Oh, and who’s this Zarathustra guy you
talk about?  Was he, like, Superman’s first
arch-enemyor what?

Randy in Redondo

Dear Randy: 

Yes, it was syphillis.  Make sure you always use a
rubber because it sure burns like hell when you take a
leak!  Sorry to say I’ve never been into comics all
that much (except for Dan Clowes:  he’s a genius!)  so
you’ve completely misconstrued the meaning of my
superman but, then, what else can be expected from
someone from Redondo?  The superman I wrote about was
my best hope for the future of mankind, someone who
would sacrifice his very ‘humanity’ in the interests
of great achievement, a kind of antedote to the gross
democratization underway at that time.  Unfortunately,

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