Storm and Prayer

Storm Over Muskogee

Currently shooting Illusion Travels by Boxcar

A lot has happened. I believe we have a genuine experiential documentary; unpleasant and raw. Now I have to carve it out of the mountain of footage—well over 100 hours.

Drove through a violent thunder storm on the Muskogee turnpike to Tulsa. Muskogee is the town where much of Patty’s unhappy marriage to Frank took place. It is where her children were taken away.

Lightening seemed to come very close to the car. Patty egged it on. Two women singers began talking to us and sang “One Day at a Time” with Patty. In the time that I have seen her, she has gone from fury to supplicant. She has cried her eyes out several times a day. She has lashed out at people whom she blames for torturing her with the same breath she uses to ask for forgiveness.

Patty said “John, just end it” tonight (meaning the documenary). She also said, “I can’t stand the bastard, Frank Allison. He destroyed my life.” She said a prayer in which she questioned the wisdom of God for making a life so filled with pain.

And yet, she continues to make the choice to drink…and continues to avoid taking responsibility by casting herself as the naive victim. I believe it sometimes. My production assistant says she is “playing” me. I am tired of worrying about her and need to get back to my own life. I cannot save Patty.

We will drop her off at the Salvation Army early in the morning and head back to L.A.

Posted at 5am on 05/13/2005 |

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